Leave

I needed to leave

but I didn't know how

I felt like a kid

afraid of a mouse

I had no yet built

another house

but I needed to leave

so I cried my way out...

I needed to leave

not easy decision

but I was so keen

to do that transition

I preferred the streets

over the traditions

of giving up my dreams

for a life of contradictions.

I needed to leave

I have no regrets

I carried with me

my arms and my legs

my love, my esteem

my words and my strength

I needed to leave

so I left.

Behind

I opened the door

I walked outside

I left the darkness

far behind

I breathed a new air

I looked at a new sky

the garden of Eden

was in front of my eyes...

I opened the door

I walked on the streets

the pain of the past

stayed were I lived

my body was sore

my mind was free

all what hurt the most

was now out of me.

Misplaced

Your face come daily to my mind
and I know it is for you for whom I fight
I hope you can feel deep inside
that you are all what I really mind...

One day at a time is all I can handle
my head, my toes r about to crumble
I hope all it's worth in this big tumble
I'm tired & melted like an old candle...

Schools and universities where never for me
there was so much more I wanted to see
the beautiful sunset before to sleep
the clouds, the rain, my mother, my street...

Misplaced from always is how I felt
nobody seemed to notice, nobody seemed to care
I closed my eyes trying to understand
but the world was spinning too fast in my head...

Words and words lines and lines
One, two, three, four and five
I have no motivation nor desire
to continue this game of wasting life...

But then again I see your face
though you r sleeping and I am awake
I hope when you come I could be that place
where you can dream, where you can grow & always be yourself.

Would you?

Would you respond my questions
if I saw you again?
would you be now
different than back then?
when so many secrets
inside you held?
when so many silences
you gave away?

Would we be friends
if we had another try?
would you talk to me
with your heart & mind?
would you tell me true
or would you still hide?
all what made you you
in this life?

Would we? would you?

 

Fix

How am I gonna fix myself?
I don't know
But I care about you
that is all
and I carry you
around the globe
and I feel you
wherever I go...

Such a sweet being
I never saw before
such beautiful eyes
such a white dove
your way to speak
your way to laugh
it is all about you
what I love.


Drawing

A little girl
jumped on the bed
she fell down
and bumped her head
she called her mom
but a demon came
and locked her up
in a cage.

"Do they love me?
Do they not?
who am I
who I'm not?
what part of me
I forgot
need to get out of here
I've had enough"

 

Believe system

Gods and Devils in my head
behind the curtain, under the bed
running horses, eating bread...
singing songs, counting deaths

You want to tell me who I should be
& when I turn around you laugh at me
"control your emotion, smile, glee...
go to bed, there is nothing to grieve

Walking around hiding who I am
make up on the face, shirts and pants
unwelcome as always again in this land
I need a beach where to lay in the sand...

Tell me a new story not one that I know
I won't go on my knees, I won't bow
I close my eyes, and my doors
My system of believes you just broke.

 

Illusions

I don't want the miracle
of a bloody optimism
sheets of clay
break and split
alien dreams
free are distributed
in all stores
and shop windows...

I don't smile
if I do not want to
there is no picture
speaking truth
hardened faces
they fall to the ground
a kind of lie
I don't believe...

A little bit of snow
does not cool anything
why go to the street
when I slip?
the lights, the time
drip down my face
and far away
there is no home..

I let you take
the first place
there is nothing important
In the end
empty mirages
fatuous illusions
what we didn't get before
It won't come now... no matter how much you want it.

Direction

When is too much?
when is enough?
if the game is not fair
there is not game at all
I don't know how to spell
but I still have some words
that I need to say
that I need to blow...

You tried to stop me
from speaking
you tried to stop me
from thinking
you tried coerce me
and sink me
you tried to scare me
and shrink me...

Under the light
you want my confession
but I have no answers
to your questions
my brain is hot
I have no election
I have to fight
your direction.

Projection

You thought you knew
much more than I did
you knew how to dress
you knew how to speak
you knew which way
the world spins
you knew it at all
even about me...

You put yourself
in a higher position
you look at us down
with inquisition
you point with your finger
with so much decision
you dictate your sentence
and throw your ammunitions

You like to tell others
they are wrong
you like to listen
to your tone
you look in the mirror
you see much more
than you really are
anymore...

I got tired
of your perfection
of your voice
of your perception
keep for yourself
your projections
I can build myself
without your objections.

 

Provide

I needed to protect you
from the storm
I needed to save you
from your falls
I needed to be there for you
and help you to grow
I needed to drive you
on your road...

I needed to give you
so much of me
it was never enough
to fill up your needs
I was loosing myself
in a dark deep sea
bleeding despair
crying on my knees...

Time to reflect
time to find
another way
to live my life
time to put attention
to what is mine
and stop giving away
what is not my duty... to provide.

 

Shame

Shame
running in my veins
shame
printed on my face
shame
I don't know the game
shame
I cannot escape...

Shame
I was taught
shame
pressing my throat
shame
I was caught
shame
I was shot...

Shame
like a stain
shame
drove me insane
shame
you got the blade
shame
I got the pain.